pt. 2

I had a crazy dream last night. I was swimming in the ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was a Fanta sea. 

My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

What did the buffalo say when his son went to college? Bison.

My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns. I should put a little more backbone into them.

Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

Why was Dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.

I had a joke about murder that would’ve really killed but I’m sure you’re all sick to death of those.

I hate my printer. Whenever I need to print, all I get is upbeat music coming out of it and a message that the paper is jamming.

What do you call a fake noodle? An im-pasta. 

Where did the spaghetti go to the dance? The meatball.

Like vegetable puns? Lettuce know. Kale me maybe. Haha. Romaine calm. Something will turnip. Don't think we're funny? We don't carrot all. 

He stole my coffee. I'm going to have him arrested for mugging. It upset me a latte.